I have never been as nervous for college exams as I am for an MRI.

The night before a scan, sleep is usually out of the question. Partly because I’m anxious and partly because my brain suddenly decides now is the perfect time to imagine every possible outcome.

The Ironic part is that by the time I actually get into the MRI machine, I’m so exhausted I usually fall asleep. At this point, the sounds are basically white noise. The only thing that wakes me up is the robotic voice telling me to hold my breath every few minutes.

For some reason, 20 seconds of holding your breath feels like two minutes in there.

Honestly MRIs are not that bad as long as you have a tech who is good at starting IV’s. I hate saying I’m a hard stick because my own patients tell me that all the time and they end up having veins so easy you could find them from across the room.

Usually the “hard stick” patient got poked twice in 2017 and has been telling the story ever since.

Unfortunatley, I acutally am a hard stick.

After years of surgeries, scans, and IV contrast, finding a vein has become a bit of a treasure hunt. At this point, the only thing helping the techs with my IV’s are all the scars that point them in the general direction of where a vein should be, even if they can’t feel it.

After many years of MRI’s, I’ve picked up a few helpful tricks.

#1 Get a good playlist. Even though you can still hear the machine buzzing over your favorite songs.

#2 Ask for a washcloth to cover your eyes. This sounds dramatic until you’ve opened your eyes halfway through a scan. Once you notice the machine is about two inches from your nose, it’s impossible to un-notice it.

Trust me on that one.

The MRI isn’t actually the hardest part anymore. The hardest part is the 24 hours afterward when you convince yourself refreshing MyChart might somehow make the report appear faster.

The funny thing is I know exactly how this goes. The report isn’t going to show up faster because I refreshed the page for the tenth time this morning.

But after enough scans, you learn that one report can completely change the direction of your life for the next few months.

Refreshing MyChart never works.

But I still do it every time.